Like The Snow
by Neon Insanity
Summary: Each step I take will take me further from this place and closer to you, I'm not going to give up because I don't believe you're truly gone. T for angst, language and other stuff. Sweden/Finland


**A/N: **Inspiration of the moment, I'm freezing my butt off here and for some reason it inspired me to write this. Oh, how strange it can be. ^^

_Italics are for memories_

**Bold for thoughts**

**Warning: **Fluff, Shonen-ai, angst, hurt/comfort, ect XP

**Summary: **Each step I take will take me further from this place and closer to you, I'm not going to give up because I don't believe you're truly gone.

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><p>"Ah…Su-San…" The young Finnish nation said softly as he looked at his taller, and scarier, lover, the Swedish man looked up. His cold blue eyes could scare anyone out of their wits. "Hm…?" He softly groaned out, he wasn't one to talk much, the Tino tried not to shake like a leaf in a hurricane as he sat down and smiled slightly at Sweden. "Ah…um…Su-san-"Sweden looked at his lover a little concerned, the younger man looked scared and nervous. Sweden laid his hand over Finland's and intertwined their fingers; Finland blushed bright red before looking back up at Sweden. "Su-san, I'm pregnant!"<p>

The Swedish man looked surprised for a moment as he digested the information; his face didn't look as scary for once and even a slightly warm glow seemed to surround him. "T'no-"

Sweden was never able to finish saying it; a huge explosion seemed to consume the house. Sweden watched it as it appeared right behind Finland; his warm happy face was brightened for a moment by the explosion before it was consumed by the light.

That happened two months ago, but still the images and everything that happened that day; were fresh in his mind as if it happened moments ago. "T'no…" He said softly as he looked at the picture, he picked it up from his nightstand. The memories from that day made a tear run down his cheek, Tino looked so happy in the picture, so…alive.

"_Su-San look at the deer, they're just like the ones back home, but bigger." Finland said happily as he pointed at them, he was bundled up since it was freezing and snowing. Sweden just smiled slightly at him, though he didn't let Finland see the smile. The younger nation was scared of his smiles, and always ended up shaking and whimpering from it._

"_Su-San, do you feel okay?" The Finnish boy was a few inches away from his face and looked at him deeply concerned; Sweden hugged him close and breathed in his scent. "I'm alr'ght." He muttered softly, his deep voice seemed to not fit along with the smaller male. For a few moments they didn't let go and just stayed like that, in the snow while standing in the middle of a snow covered field. To Sweden, this was perfect._

"_Su-San…I want to have a baby." Sweden snapped out of his thoughts as he looked down at Tino, the younger boy blushed as he looked down at the snow and fiddled with the bottom of his thick jacket. "I mean…I…I want to have a child with you Su-San, a little bundle of joy that was made from our love." He responded before looking up at the Swede, the tall blonde wasn't sure what to do or say._

"_I know it's a lot to ask but…" Finland trailed off as he spoke, his softly voice seemed to have been stolen but the winter wind. He jolted slightly as a pair of arms wrapped about him and pulled him in a warm embrace, he smiled and hugged back. " 'kay." Was muttered just over him and his grin grew, he buried himself deeper into Sweden's jacket. Three days later, the consummated their love and after a few weeks, Finland was pregnant. _

Life and happiness vanished from Sweden in the blink of an eye; in that slightly moment that the explosion happened and took the one person he'd ever loved from his life. "T'no…" He softly said as he looked down at the picture of a thin, short blonde standing in the midst of large blue waves; they almost looked as if they would crush him.

"_Isn't the beach beautiful, Su-San?" The blonde was sitting on a beach blanket looking out at the waves lap against the shore. "I love the ocean, but it's always so cold where I live, that I can't ever go to the beach…I also would get lonely if I went alone." He leaned on Sweden's shoulder as he looked out, his knee up to his chest and his chin gently resting on it. He looked so small, innocent, and pure; it reminded Sweden of snow. When it fell it was so soft and pure, it made people smile and feel so warm despite it being cold. Finland was like the snow that fell in his nation; so pure and so beautiful but still it could be harsh and dangerous. Even though Finland was small and cute, he wasn't a pushover. _

_Many nations have realized that once they go to war with him, behind that beautiful face was a nation that made alcohol bomb infamous. Sweden sometimes worried about him, he'd once seem a nation much like Finland; Happy and pure, much like a child. Who cracked under the pressure of war. Russia was not always so psychotic and frightening as he was now; at one time he was a happy child full of cheer and happiness. But his happiness came crashing down and darkness took over his young heart, it was such a quick and unseen change, nobody expected it. Sweden wasn't about to let that happen to Finland, he would protect him until the day one of them fades._

" Yo'r t'me c'me too e'rly, T'no." He muttered under his breath, he loved Tino so much and he couldn't believe he was gone already. He was so young and so full of life, he almost seemed immortal. A knock on the door pulled Sweden out of this thoughts, he looked up as the door opened to reveal a nurse dressed in white. "Morning Mr. Oxenstierna, it's time for your physical therapy." Her voice was too happy, too cheery. He grunted softly and nodded; she smiled and went over to him. She pulled the wheel chair that held the tall blonde, away from his bed and out the door. Each day from eight to ten, he would have physical. Since the day of the incident, he lost the ability to use his legs, but now he was slowly learning how to walk again.

Both of his femurs bones had been broken in several places when the kitchen wall came crashing down on him, the pain was so intense and so powerful that he ended up passing out a few moments later. He woke up, a week later in the hospital…that was when he found out about Finland passing away and that he might never walk again, he didn't care much about the fact he would never walk again, but the news about Finland had hit him harder than the wall. Finland had been four months pregnant at the time, he had been so scared to tell Sweden about it; it seemed he feared what the Swede would say or do.

"Alright Mr. Oxenstierna, here we are. I'll come pick you up at ten and take you back to your room, have a nice day and I hope you make a lot of progress today." She handed him over to the physical therapist before walking away; Sweden just nodded slightly and looked up at the middle aged man who pushed him into the room. Other people were there, all of them trying to get there life back on track after accidents and disasters. All of there were like him, but none of them knew the pain he felt. In a few centuries, they would all be dead and never remember what had happened, but Sweden was a nation. He couldn't die and forget; he had to live each day of his immortal life think about the man he loved and lost…and the child that had died along with him.

"Alright, let's get you out of the chair and onto the track." Sweden nodded at the voice, looked up at a pair of horizontal metal poles and a smooth walk was that would help him walk once more. The tall blonde pushed himself up from his chair and grabbed onto the therapist's shoulder, one arm gripped onto the metal and quickly the other followed. Sweden's knees hit the ground but he didn't let go. The muscles in his large arms rippled as he pulled himself up, his foot got under him and helped him before the other one followed suit. He stood there for a moment as he made sure his legs wouldn't give out under him and trying to focus on what he was doing, one foot shifted forward as he started to shuffle forward. His arms were tense and shaking, his teeth grit together and slowly his feet moved. It was slow, but it was more than what he had done three days ago. He wasn't about to give up on this, he was going to walk again. "T'no." He muttered softly behind his clenched teeth, slowly he started walking faster.

His legs no longer bent and his arms loosened up at the loss of weight pulling down on them, one foot after another. Small steps but it was much bigger to him, this was him moving forward. He wanted to walk again and he wasn't about to back down. This was not only for him, but for Tino as well, the young Finnish man was no longer by his side, but that didn't mean Sweden was going to back down and lose hope. Tino was a nation and somewhere deep in Sweden's heart, he didn't believe that Tino was truly dead. He looked up and he could see the young blonde's face, his warm smile and his arms stretched out to Sweden. The tall blonde sped up, his steps were bigger, faster, and more reckless. Each one brought him close to what he wanted, each one took him closer to Finland.

**'****I'm n't g'ing to g've up!'**

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><p><strong>AN: **Should I continue? Should I just leave it like this? You tell me ^^


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